‘Drag the Musical’ is a Special Kind of Awful

Drag The Musical – Photo: Matthew Murphy
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The wigs? On point. The lashes? On point. The costumes? On point. The plot? No point.

Fans of RuPaul’s Drag Race might forgive the mess that is Drag: The Musical, but anyone else with an IQ higher than a mannequin with head trauma should sashay away from New World Stages where high-camp plateaus and not enough shade can be thrown.

Tomas Costanza, Justin Andrew Honard (Alaska Thunderfuck), and Ashley Gordon are responsible for the book, music, and lyrics, all of which are rehashed from material you’ve seen before and jokes that are about as funny as a calculus class.

With one rare exception: a bright yellow skirt with a crying emoji worn against a black-clad ensemble at a funeral. But one good belly laugh from an intermission-less two hours just isn’t enough.

Alexis Gillmore (Nick Adams) is the den mother of the Fish Tank, a drag dive bar that is “packed to the gills every night of the week.” The problem is that Gillmore isn’t the best financial manager and is in deep trouble with the IRS.

Across the street, a competing drag haven, the Cathouse, is in its own dire situation. Kitty Galloway’s establishment is being bullied by Rita LaRitz (J. Elaine Marcos), a real estate mogul who just purchased the building and is threatening to build a high rise.

If LaRitz were a real person, I might suggest she rent this theater space and create a new show. Kitty and Alexis were once lovers but they fell out and became arch rivals. “Nobody knows what happened between Kitty and Alexis and no one ever will,” is the oft-repeated dramatic refrain. Frankly, nobody cares.

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With lyrics that barely rhyme and forgettable music that is so deafeningly loud you’ll want to file a noise complaint, this is a case of big money laid to waste.

Clearly, there was a generous budget for Jason Sherwood’s grand set and Marco Marco’s flashy costume designs. But the bargain bin script and awful score make Drag: The Musical a show worth scratching off the list.

Drag The Musical (★☆☆☆☆) is playing at New World Stages, 340 West 50th St. in New York City. Tickets are $47 to $184. Visit www.dragthemusical.com.

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