‘Should I move back to India?’: Software engineer at Google on H-1B visa asks Reddit – Investing Abroad News

A 28-year-old software engineer at Google, living in the US on an H-1B visa, is not sure whether to continue building her life abroad or return to India. For that, she turned to Reddit to seek answers and people there have a lot to say. But before we tell you what Reddit suggested to her, let’s take a closer look at the situation she is in. 

‘Should I move back to India?’

“MissKaun” – the username the Google engineer goes by online – moved to the US in 2021 amid the COVID scare to pursue her master’s degree. At the time, she was already employed full-time at Apple but felt her career was stagnating.

“I’m 28F and moved to the US in 2021 to pursue my Master’s. Honestly, I never had plans to move abroad, but during COVID, I was feeling stuck. My job at Apple wasn’t helping me grow, so I quit after 2 years and came to the US,” the woman wrote on Reddit’s “ReturnToIndia” community. 

Her decision to move to the States wasn’t very well received by her parents, especially since her job at Apple came with a good salary. Nevertheless, she decided to pursue higher education in the States and initially planned to return to India after three years. 

While in the US, she met her boyfriend. They’ve been living together for two and a half years and have been in a relationship for over three years. The couple plans to get married next year, but they’re not fully aligned on where to settle down. Her boyfriend wants to continue living in the US.

“That was part of his reason for coming to the US – he wants to enjoy the infrastructure, the lifestyle perks, and save enough to retire early. He has a stable job and an H1B visa, too,” she explained.

‘I’m an engineer, boyfriend is data scientist’

She further says, “I work at Google as a software developer and feel confident that I could transfer to a team in India when I want to, likely in Bangalore. My boyfriend is a data scientist, and with his experience, he should be able to find a good job as well.”

The woman admits that she often feels homesick, especially when her family misses her. Her mother struggles with her being far away. Her brother also lives abroad, in Canada, and her mother finds a 14-hour flight to the US “too exhausting” and, for the very same reason, has visited her once. 

“Now I feel like I’m missing out on weddings, festivals, family time, even the hard moments like illness or emergencies. My entire extended family is in the same city back home, so it is very lively there. Even though I do not plan to live in the same city (no tech job) but I can definitely visit whenever needed.”

She expressed uncertainty about staying away from her family long-term, saying she’s not sure if she can handle that kind of distance forever.

“I’m looking for thoughts from people who have either returned to India or chosen to stay. How do you make peace with the trade-offs? Or pls tell if moving to India is worth it to convince my boyfriend,” she asked people on Reddit to help her make a decision. 

In an update, the woman clarified that leaving her boyfriend is not an option. She and her boyfriend had a conversation and decided to explore the possibility of relocating to a country “closer to India”.  

And, Reddit didn’t disappoint…

“Moving back to India or staying in the US is a very personal choice of its own. I am a single child, have been in the US for 16 years and still don’t feel like I belong here. I am moving back next month, it’s not an overnight decision, I’ve let it ponder for over a year and finally took the plunge. My parents are ageing, and I want to be closer to them. You know your life better than anyone, and there are multiple factors you’ll need to weigh in,” one Redditor said. 

Another commented, “I moved back after 5 years in the US. STEM-OPT ended, and H1b didn’t get picked. This was April 2020, too. I had made up my mind in January/February that year that unless I was getting an H1B, I was not staying any longer. The path forward was uncertain, but I used to cry myself to sleep during those months. I was missing my family so much, and the US never really felt like home. I would have assimilated a lot more than the average NRI, but still. I felt lonely. Depressed, even maybe. I wasn’t even a Software Engineer. I’m a Mechanical Engineer and was very much aware that I wouldn’t find a job more than 15LPA (in 2020). Luckily, my employer in the US asked me to just continue working as a contractor, so that’s what I’ve been doing. It worked out well for me.”

“You’re missing out on life, making memories, and being part of a supportive family and community. On top of this, there’s a huge uncertainty with H1-B visas. Imagine if your job ends (terminated, laid off), you’ll have to move back within 60 days or find a new job within 60 days. Make a long-term goal in your life, like what you want in your life in 5 years. House, family, kids, pension, etc. Then take the steps which make you closer to that goal,” suggested yet another Reddit user. 

One Redditor said, “Save enough to retire early – So unless this saved amount is north of $5M, he will retire in India or close to India (Vietnam, Thailand, etc), right? Secondly, if he stays in the US long term, how will he get residency/citizenship within this ‘early’ timeframe, enabling him to stay post-retirement? Is he not born in India or China? Just talk to your bf and figure out what’s ‘enough’ and what’s ‘early’. Don’t think he has thought this out well.”

Someone else gave a very practical reason: “I think you should take a sabbatical or maybe FMLA and go to India for 3 months and stay with your mom. If in those three months you don’t have a yearning to go back to the US, then you know what to do.”

“Why not work towards citizenship and get your mom to move to the USA? Has she visited the US and stayed here for a few months? Did she like it?

If you start now. You could build a solid work profile for EB1-A and get GC in say 5 years, another 5 years for citizenship and then apply for family-based GC for her. If you’re in TL position, you could consider a 1-2 year stint in India and come back on L1-A/EB1-C,” another chimed in. 

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