Teen Admits She’s Jealous of Her Friend for Getting More Financial Aid Than Her

• A teen says her friend will receive “multiple full ride scholarships and grants due to her financial status”
• The teen, who shared her story on Reddit, says she admitted her jealousy to her friend 
• The teen wants to know from the online community if she is overreacting to the news

A teen is seeking advice online after her friend received college scholarships based on financial need.

The teen shared her situation on the AITA community of Reddit, where commenters ask for advice about their gut reactions to situations. In the post, the teen explained that she is a high school senior. “I’m not necessarily an ‘impressive’ student,” she wrote. “I have pretty good stats, but not anything amazing.” 

The poster continued, “My friend, on the other hand, has been able to get multiple full ride scholarships and grants due to her financial status.”

“A couple weeks ago, I found out I won two scholarships that totaled out to be $3000. I was pretty excited about this, since I hadn’t heard back from any other scholarships that I had applied to previously, so I was getting pretty hopeless about being able to pay for college,” the teen shared. “I told my friend about my scholarships, and she didn’t congratulate me once, the only thing she said was ‘That’s not bad. I’m lucky I don’t have to pay for college. In fact, I’m getting reimbursed for my tuition.’ ”

The original poster admitted that her friend’s response rattled her. “I guess that comment threw me off guard a little? I’m obviously very happy that she doesn’t have to worry about the cost of college — and I have told her that many times in the past — but I just felt as if that wasn’t the best moment to bring it up,” she explained. “I know that just because I’m not getting full rides to college like she is doesn’t mean that she shouldn’t be able to celebrate [my] success but maybe it felt dismissive in that moment.”

After her initial surprise, the teen responded to her friend, revealing, “I ended up just saying something like ‘Oh, nice’ or ‘Good job!’ ”

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Following the tense exchange, the results of another scholarship was announced. “I knew that I probably wasn’t getting it since the scholarship is heavily based off of financial need,” the teen offered.

“My friend and I opened up our decisions together, and just as I expected, I didn’t get it. My friend, though, did. Right in that moment, I felt pretty disappointed that I didn’t get the scholarship, even though I saw it coming,” she recounted. “I said, ‘Congrats!! I’m jealous’ because honestly, yes I’m pretty jealous of all the financial aid she’s receiving, but my tone + facial expressions definitely didn’t match the happiness I was trying to convey.”

The teen’s reaction didn’t go unnoticed by her friend. “I guess she didn’t take this the way I intended, she was acting off and barely talked to,” she wrote. “Later on, she told me that she didn’t think it was fair for me to be mad at her for being poor.”

“This made me pretty angry since I was never mad at her for anything,” the teen continued. “Maybe I shouldn’t have said I was jealous of her, even though I meant it in the best way possible. I’m definitely not jealous of her financial situation, but I’m also very definitely jealous of the financial aid she’s receiving.”

“I should’ve definitely been more kind with my tone when I said anything,” she explained. “But I had also just found out that I didn’t get a scholarship that I worked hard for so I thought that she would understand why I sounded so bummed.”

Two teenagers in high school (stock photo).

Getty

The teenager asked Reddit readers for their perspective on her feelings of jealousy. She questions whether envy is making the disparity in their financial situations worse.

One commenter thought the teen should have been more supportive of her friend. “As you said your tone and facial expression didn’t match being happy, so I understand why she would take it wrong,” they wrote. “And if one of the requirements for the scholarship was being poor then I see where the assumption came from.”

“Being envious of someone who’s poor getting income based scholarships is so off-base,” wrote another commenter.

“I totally feel your pain,” someone else responded. “It’s hard to watch it especially since it was needs based and not merit based which is out of your control. I’d recommend you take some time off for yourself to cool off and do what you have to do.”

Other commenters, meanwhile, thought the teen had an understandable reaction. “Quite regularly it is human nature to only react to a situation from our own perspective,” wrote a commenter.

They added, “Your friend seems to have only been looking at it from the angle of her own situation and not recognizing the stress and frustration you have been through for a process that quite clearly has been very good to her.”

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