This Study Says Grandmas Feel More Connected To Grandkids Than Their Own Kids

Grandmas we spoke to had their own theories. 

Marion Conway, a grandma of three and a blogger at The Grandma Chronicles, generally thinks there is more “growth, excitement and pleasure” to be experienced with her grandkids.

“Since you are not really an authority figure to your grandchildren ― rather you’re a promoter or supporter ― both of you are more open to a stress-free relationship,” she told HuffPost.

Donne Davis, the California-based founder of the grandma online community GaGa Sisterhood, said that she connects with her three grandchildren differently because she looks at them as a clean slate, as far relationships go.

“The different kind of closeness I feel with my kids versus my grandkids is based on our shared history,” she said. “Parenting can be a more adversarial relationship with power struggles, boundary-setting, some ego and definite responsibility for how your child will turn out.”

You don’t have that as much with your grandchildren, Davis explained. 

“You just love them unconditionally and think everything they do and say is wonderful and exceptional,” she said. 

Lisa Carpenter, a grandma of six in Colorado and the author of “A Love Journal: 100 Things I Love About Grandma,” agrees that grandmas get to do “the fun stuff” and evade the “thorny issues of child-rearing.” (They’ve been there, done that with their own kids.)

Carpenter said the study rings true to her experiences to some degree, though she wouldn’t say she necessarily feels more connected to her grandkids compared to her adult children.

“I simply have different feelings overall about the two, besides loving and caring intensely about both,” she said.

“The biggest difference being that my grandchildren tend to elicit strong feelings of joy and delight in me compared to my adult children,” she explained. “Even an intense curiosity about who they are, what’s going on in their little minds, what interests them, who and what they will become.” 

Exciting as that all is, Carpenter admits that at the end of a long, fun day with her grandkids, she’s glad to have her nights to herself. 

“Usually, by the time the kids are tired and grandma’s tired, it’s time for the kids to leave, and the parents get to deal with crankiness and crying, while grandma gets a break,” she said. “That is when this grandma has stronger feelings for her adult children — feelings of gratitude.”

This article originally appeared on HuffPost.

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